Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Screwed.edu
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
