Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
