Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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