I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
