i permit you to call me
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
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