yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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