it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
