They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
