Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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