Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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