So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
