chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
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