I only kidnapped one of them. chill
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
