i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
not ubering you a puppy
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
