yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Randomize
