she kept yelling 'call me bella'
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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