i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
