Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
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