guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize
