remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
