on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
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