He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Randomize
