meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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