Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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