actually, I'm a sock model
do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Randomize
