Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Randomize
