to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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