I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
This baby is an asshole
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
