Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Randomize