I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
