she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
