Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
jump out the window naked night went bad
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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