they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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