I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
