I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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