The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
