..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
