I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
