he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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