So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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