dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
