So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
wanna go halves on a baby?
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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