i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
