i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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