You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Randomize
