I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize