Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
so explain again why im purple
no
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
