Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Just invented taco cereal.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
