I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
