I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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