Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
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