Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Randomize
