Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
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