I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
