I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
