Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
