Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
