So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
