we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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