i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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