Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Alive.
So much puke
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
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